Angel
by Genim Stilinski
Summary: Sequel to "Decode". Songfic to Angel, by Sarah McLachlan. Q junior struggles with the fact that Icheb will not become a Q. M for alcohol and sexual reference, and male/male relationship. Second in the "Icheb and Q Songfic" series.
1. Chapter 1

The song in this story is "Angel", by Sarah McLaughlin. All sections taken from the song are italicized and in quotation marks.

Disclaimer: I do not own the show, the characters, or the song, and am in no way affiliated with any of them.

Minor spoilers for the book _Star Trek: Voyager Full Circle, and Star Trek: Voyager Unworthy, _as well as spoilers for the Voyager episode, Q2

Sequel to: Decode

**Angel**

"_Spend all your time waiting  
For that second chance  
For the break that will make it Ok  
There's always some reason _

_To feel not good enough  
And it's hard at the end of the day"_

Q had just returned from the continuum. Somehow, San Francisco had never been so depressing. It was December. It was also a Monday morning, so Icheb would be in class all day. _How lonely,_ he thought. The wind beat against his human skin, and the cold filled his human lungs. He could make the terrible sensations go away, but it made him feel alive. Q sat on a park bench, deciding that it would be nice to sit outside for a while. He saw a few decaying leaves in the pathway, heavily trodden over, and soaked with slush.

_He will age, and then he will die. _His father's words echoed in his head. _He could spend the rest of his life with you, but you could not spend your life with him. _The leaves were not the only thing that reminded him of this. All around him, bipeds were dying. They die a little more every minute they exist. Icheb was one of them, and yet, he denied himself immortality.

Suddenly the cold seemed a little much. Q decided to return to Icheb's quarters. He walked slowly at first, allowing his stiff muscles time to warm up, and then he hastened. By the time he got to the cadet lodging, he was running. Q snapped his numb fingers to change into a cadet's uniform in order to get by the desk clerk without question. He walked straight through the small lobby to the turbolift, only stopping to press the control panel. Soon enough, he was in the hallway that leads to Icheb's quarters. When he reached the doors, he looked about, and then snapped his fingers to allow himself entrance. He once again changed clothes, and sat down for his long wait.

Icheb returned to his quarters straight away after his final class was finished. He knew that Q would be waiting for him. What he didn't know was that Q was in such a terrible mood. He pressed the button on the control panel beside his door and entered.

"Q?" He called as he set his belongings haphazardly on the desk to the right. He noticed that the lighting was dim, so he manually raised it by the console on the wall. Q walked out from the bedroom and over to Icheb. He pulled him tightly to his chest, and began to sway slightly.

"What is wrong, Q?" He asked.

"It's complicated."

"I may not be as intelligent as a Q, but you could still try to explain it to me." Q loosened his hug and led Icheb to sit on the bed.

"Why is it that you will not join me as a Q?" he whispered. Icheb was shocked by how sad his lover looked.

"I cannot be Q" He replied.

"As you have already said before. But why not?" Now he looked desperate. Icheb looked deep into his eyes. They were red and puffy, as if he had been crying.

"Right now, I need to be here. Seven needs me, and Starfleet needs me. Even if I wanted to be a Q, right now it is impossible." Q now looked as if he were going to panic. He began to shake violently, and fell to the floor.


	2. Chapter 2

Angel, Chapter 2

"_I need some distraction  
or a beautiful release  
Memories seep from my veins  
Let me be empty  
and weightless and maybe  
I´ll find some peace tonight"_

Icheb, now holding the somehow unconscious, shaking Q in his arms, looked up to find The Elder Q (both he and Q had long since decided to make that distinction) standing over them.

"What in the cosmos have you done to my son?!?" He asked in outrage.

"I don't know! He just…collapsed!" By this time, he knew that a Q doesn't simply faint. Something must be terribly wrong for a Q to be the slightest bit affected.

The Elder Q bent down and felt his son's forehead with the back of his palm. He stood, and gave a sigh before speaking.

"He is loosing his Qness. Just what I was afraid of."

Q suddenly became aware of himself, but he was not where he was before. He looked up to find that a very worried Icheb and Father were staring at him from the doorway. _Oh, I'm in bed_, he thought.

"How did I get here" He finally found his voice, which had moments ago been absent.

"I put you there," Icheb replied, "after you…" He couldn't bring himself to say the last bit.

"You are loosing it, Q." The Elder Q pressed, "Why have you not told him?"

"Told me what?" Icheb had to wonder. It wasn't like Q to keep secrets. In fact, he's usually bursting to tell even the most inconsequential details of his strangely spent days.

Q slid out of bed and half-stumbled over to the doorway. "We need to talk." He pulled his lover over to the small sofa in the sitting area of the dorm. The Elder Q, at this point in time, snapped his fingers to take his leave, ostensibly to allow them privacy. They all knew that he would be listening anyways.

Q sat for moments in silence, but these moments felt like an eternity, even for him. He had to think of how explain what was happening. He had to convey the urgency of his malady, without, of course, panicking or pressuring Icheb.

"For the past few months, I have been loosing my Qness." He finally broke his own silence.

"What exactly does that mean?"

"Well, the past few months have been excellent. I have shared your bed, your meals, your spare time…your life, essentially. It's just not a life meant for a Q." At this point he paused to think of what to say next. "What I mean to say is, there is a price to pay for everything in life. While here, with you, I have lived more than any Q deserves, but at the same time, I am living less. My life, like yours is beginning to slip away."

"Wait, what?" Icheb panicked, precisely what Q wished to avoid, "I thought Q couldn't die"

"Well," He sighed, "That's the thing. The longer I stay, the more of myself I loose. The things that make me a Q are beginning to fade." Icheb's usually light-hearted expression had gone; it was replaced by one of stone*.

"How can you fix it? How can you get it back?"

* "one of stone" means that he was expressionless

Author's Note: Thanks for reading! I hope to update more frequently, bit I may write short chapters. Please do be patient.

Reviews are always welcome!


	3. Chapter 3

Angel, Chapter 3

"_In the arms of an angel_

_Fly away from here_

_From this dark cold motel room_

_And the endlessness that you fear"_

"How can you fix it? How can you get it back?"

* * *

Q, now slipping his fingers between those of the boy next to him, heaved a large sigh as he looked up into his lover's eyes. The deep brown that comprised of Icheb's large pupils had never seemed so dark before. They were…mesmerizing. It was almost enough to make him forget what he was about to say. He couldn't forget, though, as the weight of it on his mind dragged him back to reality.

"I don't think this has happened to any Q before. Even Q and Q who had stayed on Earth or more than a decade hadn't lost any bit of their Qness." As he stopped to think, a large pop signaled to him that his father had returned.

"The only way to reverse the process is to return to the continuum." He looked over to Icheb, who was now staring intently downward. "I've already told him this, but he refuses to accept the inevitable outcome of this situation he's put himself into."

"What do you mean, 'put himself into'?" Icheb looked up at the Elder Q, noting the annoyed look on said Q's face.

"Well," He said, popping himself onto the bed, directly behind Q, "despite my urging he remained here on Earth. Thus, he has done this to himself. It wouldn't have happened if he came home every millennia or so." Q jumped upward, away from the Elder Q, in anger.

"_I _did this?_ I_? How is it then, that you seem to show up _just_ as I become ill! Awfully coincidental timing, don't you think?" An extremely disruptive cough ripped through his throat as he ended his rant. His hand shot up to his mouth, which he looked down upon in horror.

"I am…bleeding. How…"

"Unless you intend to come back with me to the continuum now, I suggest you rest." Icheb pulled himself off the bed to lead Q back. "We'll continue this conversation later."

With a pop and a flash, he was gone.


	4. Chapter 4

Angel, Chapter 4

"_You are pulled from the wreckage_

_Of your silent reverie_

_You're in the arms of an Angel_

_May you find some comfort here"_

* * *

Icheb stumbled hopelessly into the 602 Club. It was a favorite with Starfleet officers and cadets in the twenty-second century, but now mostly was frequented by local teenagers with fake identification cards. The bartender was rather hard of sight, so all you had to do to score some booze was to deepen your voice and act like you belonged there.

He hadn't used it before then, but the fake I.D. Q gave him turned out to be rather handy. As he spoke like an adult already, it wasn't hard to fool the old man behind the bar into selling him a glass of bourbon. It was, as they say, "on the rocks", though Icheb had no idea what that meant. His studies did not include alcoholic beverages, or the jargon that went with them.

He slid his glass off the bar and took it to a small table in the corner. Q was sleeping, a rare occurrence, and he needed to get out. Thus, Icheb decided to try to drown his miseries the way that most men did…drink. He took a small sip to start. As he no longer had any Borg systems within him, he knew it would affect him as it would any other Brunali. On one occasion, Q stated that he learned in his travels that Brunali were "light weights". Apparently this meant that they were affected strongly by alcohol.

It burned in his throat as it slid down. He gagged, but luckily, no one heard him. It was, after all, packed. The cadets had all been out of their classes for about an hour, so any underage cadet looking for a drink was bound to be there. Icheb then took a few more sips. Soon enough, a sip was a gulp, and a few more glasses of the toxic substance.

"What are you doing?" He didn't have to even look up to know that his almost-father-in-law was standing over him. His vocal inflection, that might otherwise tell Icheb that the Elder Q was concerned, told him nothing. He was too drunk to think straight.

"What do you want, Q." He put down his glass hard enough to make a noise he could hear, despite his pounding head.

"Should you not be back in your quarters, with Q?" He asked as he slid into the seat across from Icheb. "You need to rest, too."

"Please don't tell me what to do." He picked up his glass, and drank it in one big gulp. It stopped burning him about two glasses ago.

"You're drunk, son. You'll wake up with the worst headache you've ever felt if you keep going like that."

"Well, maybe I deserve as much for leaving your precious son at home while I came here to get drunk off my ass."

"While I can see that you've loosened up and started to use some of the Earth vernacular he's taught you, I don't think that this is what Q had in mind when he gave you that fake card."

"Yeah, I think he intended to just get me loose enough so I would let him keep me up for sex on a school night." The Elder Q gave a small smile at this, though still visibly upset.

"That would be just like my son. However, you won't do him much good while you're this drunk."

"Yeah, well," Icheb paused, "I don't do him much good anyways."

"You can help him, you know." He looked up from his empty glass, and into Q's eyes.

"I can't help. I only hurt."

"And yet he loves you so much that he continues to drain his own life just to be with you on this cosmically unremarkable planet!" The Elder Q's voice deepened in anger as he continued on. "If you were to become a Q, he would follow you wherever you go. Don't you see that you hold the cure to his illness?"

"Am I to give up my life for his?" Icheb stood, and the world stood still. Obviously, if Q allowed them to continue this argument in normal space time, they would gain everyone's attention. "I love him! I really do…but I don't know how to be a Q. I don't know how to live forever, when I was never meant to. I don't even know if I am ready to be with him for eternity!"

Icheb lowered his voice, regaining what little self control he had before the supposedly omnipotent being entered the bar. "I know it will kill me to be without him, but I also know that it may very well kill me to be a Q. Going on forever was not meant for me. If you'll excuse me, I need to go home to my love…"

The Elder Q sat in contemplation as Icheb walked out.

* * *

Q sat up, allowing the silk-lined comforter that he had gotten himself and Icheb on Risa to fall to his waist. It felt as if heavy weights rested upon his chest, and every breath made them feel heavier. The air around him was cold, but he didn't think much of it. Icheb liked it that way when they slept, so he became surprisingly used to it. He pushed himself out of the bed, realizing that his legs didn't wish to support him any longer. They wobbled as he stumbled to the door.

"Itchy," He called with what little of his voice he could muster. There was no noise in the quarters but his labored breath. It was apparent that Icheb was out. But where would he be? Did he not know that his lover was dying?

At that moment, the doors opened with a hiss. He made no effort to conceal himself, as he would on any other occasion. With the random room checks that the academy held, it was not unheard of for an unknown, low ranking officer to enter unannounced. Much to Q's relief, it was Icheb. Something was wrong, though. He looked like Q felt. His eyes were empty and dark. His face was pale. He smelled like alcohol, and looked like a corpse. But it wasn't like Icheb to drink. It had been months since Q had tried to get him to do it. He had refused, just like the other 15 or so times Q tried. Here he was, however, drunk as could be.

Icheb shuffled in just enough for the doors to close behind him. He stood there for a moment, and then walked straight to the bathroom. Q heard running water, so he decided that Icheb would be a while. He flung himself back onto the bed behind him to wait.

* * *

It had been at least an hour since Icheb had locked himself in the bathroom, but Q was too weak to move. He did the only thing he could do, and that was to wait. However, he couldn't wait anymore. He called for his father, but no voice had come to him. Still, his father came.

Q knew that his son couldn't wait any longer for Icheb to make up his mind. Little Q was dying. Everyone in the continuum knew it. They nearly banished him for his stubborn and unwavering devotion to his Brunali ex-borg pet. Q, with the help of Q and Q, barely managed to talk the other Q from doing so. Therefore, he knew what he must do. He had to act, for his son was killing himself. Q wasn't even sure if his son had enough energy to do it on his own. Therefore, he slid his human-form arms under Q's knees and back, lifted him up, and snapped his fingers. They were leaving.

Destination: The Q Continuum.


	5. Epilogue

Author's Note: Hello, readers! Wow. It has been a long time coming, this final chapter. I hope to make another story to follow in the next few weeks. In the meantime, I want to take this opportunity to thank Shannara810 for her dedication to reviewing.

So, without further ado: Angel, The Epilogue

The voices of the continuum boomed around him in the vast nothingness that he was disgusted to call home.

"He should be ashamed."

"He is a disgrace to us all."

"What has Q done for this abomination?"

"Nothing"

"He should be punished"

"He should be placed in confinement, like Q was."

"That is a poor idea. Janeway could interfere again."

"We will put him in another galaxy, then"

"No. That will not do."

"He should be rehabilitated. Not punished."

So many voices pounded in his strangely-human head. He didn't know how he managed to grow up in this hell.

"What of the Brunali boy?"

"What of him? He is on Earth."

"He is no longer a threat."

"We need to discuss Q, not the boy."

"He has poisoned Q with his ideals. He should be dealt with."

Q, at the mention of his lover, stood up in the darkness.

"NO! YOU SHALL NOT HARM HIM!"

His own words echoed in his ears. It scared him how much he cared for any other being than himself. He wasn't raised that way, until he lived with Aunt Kathy. The other Q went on, speaking around him as if he weren't there.

"He fears for the boy."

"We may do more harm to Q than good."

"It would be detrimental to his recovery."

"Can't you just leave them both alone? I can take care of this." That was the voice of his father.

"No. You have done enough."

All of the talk was too much for Q. He collapsed back to the floor and curled up in the way Icheb used to do when he was sad or frightened. Unlike on Earth, there was no one to hold him. He remembered all the times that he would stroke back Icheb's walnut hair, touch his flushing cheeks, and tell him that it all would be alright. He wished that he could believe his own words as he shivered on the non-existent floor.

* * *

Icheb awoke on the bathroom floor, feeling the cold of the tile on his cheek and the stiffness in his back that comes from sleeping awkwardly. His head was throbbing, as the Elder Q had warned him would happen. His mouth tasted stale, and his eyes drooped closed, though he was wide awake. The hung-over cadet raced out of the bathroom, and to the bedroom, realizing what had happened the night before. Much to his despair, Q was gone. He slumped down onto the edge of the bed where his love had been just hours ago. The sheets were cold, so he must have left last night.

"He left me…" Icheb whispered aloud to no one.

* * *

The voices of the members of the Q continuum continued to assault Q's ears, be he was no longer listening. He became lost in his own world with the realization that he would probably never see the love of his life again. He worried about what Icheb thought of him. _He must think that I left him to save my own ass. Either that, or that I just didn't care for him anymore. _Q wondered, _where the hell is my father in all this? Won't he do anything? _Q worried about what the continuum would do to him. He wasn't left wondering for much longer. Suddenly, he found himself lost. He was nowhere. He was everywhere. He was floating in subspace, able to roam, but never to land. Q did the only thing he could. He headed for Earth, hoping that he might be able to get close enough to see the night lights of San Francisco…where his love, as long as he would live, would go on thinking of his false betrayal.

He then made a vow to himself. _Wherever he goes, for as long as he lives, I will be as close to him as I can be. _

He closed his eyes as he arrived, ready to settle in for the long haul.

The End


End file.
